We need to dig deep within ourselves and find out why we think hitting kids is disciplinary action
Published Date – Sat 4/29/23 12:30am
By Bhavya Sekhri, Dr. Moulika Mandal
Hyderabad: We tend to use more acceptable terms like “hitting,” but these are forms of physical violence that border on abuse. The Early Education Association conducted a survey in India, 77.5% of parents beat their children, and 28% of parents often beat their children. UNICEF India identified verbal emotional abuse and verbal intimidation (such as yelling, scolding, name-calling and physical violence) as forms of disciplinary measures used by home care workers.
Words such as “I’ll beat you if you don’t listen to me”, blackmailing, criticizing, slapping, twisting ears, hitting people, etc. are some forms of abuse. The study looked at the effects of shock and abuse (Gershoff & Grogan-Kaylor, 2016). Both make children vulnerable to negative thoughts and emotions. Also, children learn nothing from being hurt. All it teaches them is to hide their mistakes so they can avoid getting hit.
sports discipline ethics
Proponents of physical discipline argue that using fear can help children learn not to repeat bad behavior. One reason for this is that children do not understand reasoning and therefore cannot explain what is right or wrong behavior. If they don’t understand the rationale, can we expect them to understand the backward reasoning why someone who loves them hurts them on purpose? Parents yelling at, spanking, or threatening their kids for instant gratification – a marked change. But did the child learn a meaningful lesson? Probably not.
More importantly, we need to dig deep within ourselves and find out why we think hitting is a discipline. Is it because we were beaten by our parents when we were young? Being spanked as a child and not repeating the same patterns can be hard. Would a person really be better off for being hit, or would they be better off if they were bound by love?
learn from role models
Albert Bandura’s famous experiments with the bobo dolls illustrate that children observe and learn from the various ways people behave. Many potential role models surround children, such as parents, TV characters, friends, and teachers. The most influential role models are parents, since children spend most of their time with them during the early stages of development. Children copy or imitate behaviors they observe later in life (Graham & Arshad-Ayaz, 2016). Seeing members of their primary group being insensitive to them can also make them less kind. Furthermore, if parents spank their children with the intention of disciplining, they know that spanking and stoking fear in the other person’s mind can solve the problem. Needless to say, this can lead to some attitude issues as the child grows up.
Impact on Mental Health
Corporal punishment has been consistently associated with negative developmental outcomes. A 2006 study showed that adolescents who fight, bully, and injure others receive physical punishment from their parents for disciplinary action (Ohene et al., 2006). In addition to encouraging aggressive, violent, and antisocial behavior, such disciplinary measures can lead to cognitive decline and mental health problems.
Physical punishment can cause fear, anxiety and depression in children because they feel unsafe in their own homes. They may have difficulty completing tasks that require problem-solving or critical thinking skills. In addition, repeated physical punishment can lead to a decrease in self-esteem and self-confidence, causing them to lack motivation and ambition for the future. They may develop a belief that they cannot succeed, which hinders their growth and development.
destroy relationship
Every time you hit them, you’re not only destroying your relationship with them, you’re robbing them of empathy, playing with their future potential, and violating their right to feel safe. When parents use physical punishment as a discipline method, children may begin to associate their parents with fear and distress. This can lead to a breakdown in trust, respect and communication between parent and child. For example, children who are spanked by their parents may start to fear their parents, avoid interacting with them or become defensive in their presence. This can lead to a lack of emotional connection between parent and child, making it difficult for the child to confide in the parent or seek their comfort.
Additionally, corporal punishment can lead to a power imbalance in the relationship. Children may begin to feel helpless and unable to control their behavior, leading to feelings of shame, guilt, and resentment toward their parents. This can ultimately lead to strained and dysfunctional relationships between parents and children.
The correct way
Here are some ways to discipline your child through long-term behavior improvement without resorting to spanking.
• Encourage their decision-making: Children are more intuitive than people think. Instead of “telling” them to do things, discuss their options. Ask them to reflect on their behavior and ask “How do you feel about your behavior?”
• Allow natural consequences: Let them have a say, as long as there are no long-term harmful consequences. They naturally learn about what they could have done to avoid the mistake and its consequences. Let the lesson take hold and don’t be overwhelmed by shame.
• Be the role model you want your child to be: According to psychological learning theory, children are active learners who learn from the behaviors they observe. For example, if you want to teach your kids the importance of being honest, show them how honest you are. Make sure they see the consequences of being honest and lying.
• Create a nurturing environment: Nurturing parents are warm, loving, good listeners, respectful, and concerned with the child’s basic physical and emotional well-being (Smith et al., 1994).
Researchers such as Belsky (1984) have found that attentive, unrestricted, and enthusiastic parents stimulate children’s intellectual development. Children respond more positively to nurturing parents than to critical parents (Eisenberg, 1992). Additionally, children who experience a nurturing family environment are more likely to grow into healthy, capable, fully functioning adults.
Parents must understand that corporal punishment can have long-term effects on a child’s mental health and cognition. Instead of using corporal punishment, parents should try to use positive discipline techniques such as positive reinforcement, setting clear boundaries, and engaging in effective communication.
