Married people who cheat don’t regret it: study

Married people who had affairs found that they were very satisfied, showed little remorse, and believed that the infidelity hadn’t damaged their otherwise healthy marriage.

Washington: According to a new analysis of the psychology of infidelity, married people who have affairs find they are very satisfied, express little remorse, and believe the infidelity hasn’t damaged their otherwise healthy marriage.

An extensive survey of people who use Ashley Madison, a website that promotes extramarital affairs, challenges commonly held notions about infidelity, especially about the motives and experiences of cheaters. The work is newly published in the journal Archives of Sexual Behavior.

“In popular media, TV shows, movies, and books, people who have affairs have this strong sense of moral guilt that we don’t see in this sample of participants,” said lead author, Johns Hopkins University Department of Associate Professor Dylan Selterman said. The psychology and brain science that studies relationship and attraction. “Satisfaction scores with affairs were high — sexual satisfaction and emotional satisfaction. Feelings of regret were low. These findings paint a more complex picture of infidelity than we thought we knew.”

The researchers conducted the study to better understand the psychological experiences of those who seek and engage in extramarital affairs. Working with researchers at the University of Western Ontario, Selterman surveyed nearly 2,000 active Ashley Madison users before and after their affair. Participants were asked about their marital status, why they wanted to have an affair, and their general well-being. Respondents, typically middle-aged men, reported high levels of love for their partners but low levels of sexual satisfaction.

Participants reported high levels of love for their spouses, but about half said they were not sexually active with their partners. Sexual dissatisfaction was the top motivation for having an affair, with other motivations including a desire for independence and sexual diversity. Fundamental issues in the relationship, such as lack of love or anger at your spouse, are among the least-cited reasons for wanting to cheat.

A happy marriage doesn’t make cheating people more likely to regret it, the survey found. Participants generally reported that their relationship was very sexually and emotionally satisfying, and that they had no regrets. The results suggest that infidelity isn’t necessarily the result of deeper problems in the relationship, Seltman said. The report found that participants sought out affairs because they wanted new, exciting sexual experiences, or sometimes because they did not have a strong commitment to their partners, rather than because of a need for emotional fulfillment.

“People have a variety of motivations for cheating,” Seltman said. “Sometimes, even when they’re in a good relationship, they cheat. We don’t see hard evidence here that people’s affairs are associated with lower relationship quality or lower life satisfaction.” Selterman hopes that by more carefully Watch other cheaters and Ashley Madison cheaters carefully to advance this work.

“The point for me is that it’s really, really hard to be monogamous or sexually exclusive in people’s lives, and I think when people commit to someone in a marriage, they take monogamy for granted. Yes. People just assume their partner will be completely content with one person for the next 50 years, but many fail. That doesn’t mean every relationship is doomed, it means Cheating can be a common part of people’s relationships.”